Some of the greatest weights I have born have been the burdens of others. A significant portion of the stress in my life has come from walking alongside others in their pain and suffering. There have been weeks and even months at at time, where I felt the suffocating heaviness of another’s pain. I have lay away at night tossing and turning as the troubles of a loved one circled non-stop through my mind. I have cried their tears.
As a parent, this is practically in the job description, but it is true for many other deep relationships.
Repeatedly, I have been told to just let something go; it isn’t my problem. I have been told to stop being so invested in other people’s lives. Keeping people at an arms distance or not taking to heart the things that matter to them seems to me to go against the social manner in which God created me/us.
While I understand the idea of giving our worry over to God, I also see that we are called to care for others and to be our brother’s keepers. We are called to love others, and loving others in their pain often times means physically feeling their pain, listening to their stories, sacrificing our own comforts to aid another, and helping them work through (trouble shoot, make decisions, etc.) their struggles. Sometimes it means being the bearer of bad news that must be shared or confronting them when their sin is being harmful to themselves or others.
At times my life has been a mess. I have been so focused on my own needs and cares that I have had little time for others. In some of those times, I have been blessed by people who meet my needs physically, mentally, and emotionally. Due to my own struggle and pain, I might not have even properly thanked them. I may even have forgotten altogether their kindness.
Sometimes that kindness has come in the form of correction I did not want to receive. I might have received their words less than graciously. Yet, hopefully was able to come to accept them and grow because sometimes my problems were the direct result of my own rebellious and sinful actions. I am better because they sacrificed to do the hard job of confronting me.
Sometimes that kindness has come in the form of their being present. Maybe it was a long trip to see me or simply showing up to sit silently with me in my tears. It is almost as if someone loving us in our proximity can literally transfer some of the pain to them to bear on our behalf for a time.
I desire to be the kind of person who is present with people in their grief, sorrow, and struggle. I can’t say that I want to be the kind of person to speak the truth in love, but I want to be a true enough friend that I will when the circumstances warrant. Loving others sometimes means celebrating their joys, but it must also come with bearing their pain. I think the world could use more of this kind of love, so I want to be a part of that change.
I chose both joy and pain willingly, because that is love. It is the closest we can approach the agape love of God.