Some of life’s punches are excruciating and life-altering. They mold us into new people. In the midst of the struggle it would be incomprehensible to find joy or laughter. On the other hand, the vast majority of difficulties that come are way are far less tragic or harrowing. They are irritations, inconveniences, and pains. They are the things that rob us of joy because of their dailiness not their depth.
If we can handle the smaller issues that arise in our life with peaceful resignation or humor, we’ll have more bandwidth left to deal with those bigger crisis moments that threaten to upend our lives.
Last night, I was getting gas before stopping home to grab my suitcase. Our family was headed to a wedding and had booked an AirBnB. I read the message from our host and laughed. Apparently, the previous guests had trashed the place and left behind a strong scent of marijuana. The owners were trying to rectify the situation, and had messaged me to offer their apologies and ask how they could make things right.
Did I want to sleep in a smelly house which could trigger my allergies? No. Is this a huge crisis? No.
I chose to respond with grace and humor. I sent them several humorous messages including assurances that I would just add this to the epic tales of our family’s vacations. When we sent them our check in message, I told them that our daughter had a friend whose house smells like this and now we have to have a talk. In the morning, I sent them a message that we all had the munchies and it must be something about the house that was making us all hungry. I left a note on their chalkboard about how I hope I don’t fail a random drug test on Monday. I hope these people have a sense of humor.
The way I see it, they’d probably appreciate a few light hearted jokes than an irate renter who either canceled their reservation or made unreasonable demands. We all could you a little slack.
I don’t always act with such grace. I know that. But I try to err on the side of grace, giving people the benefit of the doubt and recognizing that life happens.
I don’t like traffic, and sometimes I am shocked at the rudeness of drivers. However, I find it a lot more peaceful to drive assuming that people have cut me off accidentally rather than with some malicious intent. Everyone else is in a hurry to get home too, and not riding up on someone’s tail because they annoyed me helps keep my blood pressure in check. Retaliating only hurts me. They very well might not even know I’m mad.
The same is true for the events of life. Broken down cars, stomach bugs that seem to arrive at the worst possible time, and roofs that leak for years on end. Getting mad doesn’t fix these things. Laughing won’t pay the bills. Yet, choosing laughter sure takes some of the sting away.
Sometimes putting things into perspective helps. How much will this matter in a year? How much time or money will this really cost me in the scheme of a lifetime? What’s the worst thing that is realistically to come from this difficulty?
Look for the silver lining. Try to find what makes a challenge humorous. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Roll with the punches.
