A few years back, I resolved to strengthen the spiritual disciplines in my life. I desired to be more consistent in my quiet times, deepen my relationship with God, and see more fruit of the Spirit flowing from my life. Step 1: buy a well-rated women’s devotional on Proverbs 31. I determined that I would give it my all while understanding that some of the book might not work with my life. Maybe that was a tad prophetic thought.
Honestly, it didn’t started out as a train wreck. Years of being a Christian prepared me for the inevitable “wake up early for your quiet time.” At first it was getting up 20 minutes early, but later she was asking me to exercise for an hour before work. Let’s do some math. I leave for work at 7:00 am. Back up the 60 minutes I am going to need to get ready for work if I am now showering and blow-drying my hair in the morning instead of the evening. Backtrack another hour for exercise and the 20 minutes of devotional time, nay the 30 minutes if you count needing time to wake up enough to not be quite so hostile towards Jesus. Hello 4:30 am. Because she also recommended 8 hours of sleep, I would be going to bed at 8:30 pm. People, I have 3 teenagers. I get home from work at 5:30. We eat dinner at almost 7. Can you even imagine what kind of life that would be?
Forget spending time with my husband and kids, getting up in the middle of the night to speed-walk through the neighborhood will make me a better Christian. Not!
There were suggestions about prayer closets, healthier eating, juice cleanses, buying a mini trampoline, finding the right clothing color scheme, part-time employment, and so many other things. I just couldn’t do all the things she was asking. Just about everything had to be modified or completely ignored. Maybe navy is my color, and I should never wear black, but I just wasn’t about to purchase whole new wardrobe even with the money I was going to make off my real estate ventures.
My “prayer closet”
Now, I know I’m being kind of hard on this book but she is not an anomaly. So much of what she said can be found in hundreds of women’s conferences, books, and blogs. I don’t know what men’s Christian living books and events are like, but some how I don’t think they are telling men what kind of power ties to buy and how they need to invest in expensive cologne to entice their wives more. I don’t think they are promoting essential oils, organic, clean eating, and the latest in home gym equipment to make sure their temples are well maintained. Maybe I’m wrong.
Sometimes you feel tied to a “truth” that you can’t fully reconcile yourself to, until the curtain is pulled back and you realize the Wizard is just a man in a machine. I had wanted so badly to be this Proverbs 31 woman I had been taught so much about until I understood why she was just smoke and mirrors. I needed to see Christianity broken down into such ridiculous standards before I could find the truth.
We have allowed the idea of being a Godly Woman to be attached to so many things that are good, but not innately Godly.
- Does the women in a third-world nation raising her children on the proceeds of her small farm need to buy exercise equipment to be more Godly?
- Does the woman living in an urban flat need to turn her walk-in closet into a “prayer closet” so she can hear God speak more clearly?
- Does the low-income mother need to buy all organic food with her food stamps to be a Godly mother?
- Unless her plan is to meet Jesus sooner, does the woman in the bad neighborhood need to take a 5 am walk through town praying over her neighbors?
- Does the Godly woman even need to have children? A spouse?
If the message you are spreading to others about what it means to be a Christian does not apply universally to all people, it is not the true Gospel. That doesn’t mean that you can’t provide tips for applying that truth to a variety of unique situations, but the application cannot become the gospel.
I needed to see how badly women were defining the Proverbs 31 woman, before I could finally find her already there inside myself.
I have a long way to go, but I am figuring out how to apply the Gospel to my own life, in my own way. I’m not making the Gospel fit my life. The Gospel is the Gospel, but having my quiet time in the middle of the living room after dinner, works better for me than at 5 am in a quiet corner of my bedroom. Eating a doughnut in the car on my way to work so I can sleep a little longer and stay up a little later with my kids isn’t going to land me in the pits of hell, and it might even make me a better, although slightly larger, Christian woman.
So if you see me without make-up, wearing black leggings as pants, and eating doughnuts, please know that I’m a work in progress, and I don’t think Jesus minds.