I Started a Diet This Week. Here's What I Lost:

Like many middle aged women, my body weight has begun the slow ascent up the number line, which seems to be the complete opposite direction my bank account moves. Being just under 5’2″ and having been skinny as a rail throughout childhood, the idea I wear clothes with an L on the tag, still seems foreign to me despite this having been my reality for quite awhile now. With my aging joints and pained feet as motivators,  and spurred on by a number on the scale higher than one I had ever seen peeking out past my toes, I embarked on this journey of sadness.

I turned to the advice of friends and the only diet I have ever tried that made a dent in my weight. Yes, I am resurrecting the 90’s Christian diet sensation: The Weigh Down Diet. In conjunction with this seemingly palatable “eat what you want” plan, I decided to add an app tracker that allows me to enter what I eat, and it does the work of calculating my calories. I figure, it would be nice to see where my calories are going (I mean in addition to my thighs) so I can make better choices.

Here are the 3 simple rules:

1. Do not eat anything unless you are hungry. True hunger is identified by a stomach that growls. (This means no in-between snacking or consuming caloric drinks between meals. It also bans zero calorie sweeteners.)
2. Stop eating when you are full. This means cutting your portion sizes down significantly. If my memory serves me correctly (and let’s be honest, I read this book in 1998, and I can’t remember what movie I watched last week), that is about the size of your fist. The minute you feel a lump in the area of your stomach, you are done.
3. Record everything you eat in your calorie tracker and record your weight (weekly) in order to see the results.
    

   

   

I started this diet 4 days ago. Let me tell you what I have lost so far:

1.  Joy. I have had a headache since Tuesday. I haven’t cut back on caffeine, and it doesn’t go away when I eat, so I doubt is it blood sugar. I think it is the withdrawal effects of joy.
2. Productivity. I feel hungry all the time. I occasionally accomplish something merely as a task to distract me from my stomach. I can’t even recall my life before this diet started. How can one be expected to think about cleaning and work when their mind is being held hostage by its own starvation.
3. Sanity. I am thinking like a crazy person.
   Me: I’m hungry. How long has it been since I ate?
   Other me: It’s been 15 minutes. You’re not hungry. Your stomach didn’t growl. That’s just your brain wanting food.
   Me: Yes, That desire my brain has, it’s called hunger. Give me food.
   Other me: This feeling will pass. You’re just snacking on your thighs right now. You’ll thank me later.
   Me:  I hate you. This is stupid.
   (Continue on ad infinitum for 6 hours until stomach growls. Repeat.)
4. Weight.  I have lost 3 pounds. I now assume joy weights approximately 2 1/2 pounds.

It takes time to get used to a new diet and for your body to find a new normal. I suspect this new normal will be one of sadness.  I’ll let you know how it goes.