It seems like a lifetime ago that I held this tiny baby girl of mine in my arms for the very first time. For her, it really was a lifetime ago. It has been a lifetime fraught with yearnings for more freedom and a burning desire to grow into herself. Tomorrow, this girl, this woman, will walk out the door and start directing her own life. She is packing up stuffed animals, clothes, and the mementos that hold the memories of her childhood. She has lived in this house since she was three. This week, she is making the decisions of what things it is time to throw away, what things she must bring, and what things are going into storage.
I have done this task a dozen times in my life. I have packed away my childhood in cardboard boxes and folded the flaps down on memories I wasn’t quire ready to discard. It is a far more emotional task than a physical one. It is a tad surreal sitting in the next room watching it all transpire.
So here are my tips for packing up and moving on:
- Clothes: If you haven’t worn it in a year, you don’t love it, or it doesn’t fit right, toss it. A few trips to Goodwill will save you a ton of time packing and unpacking, not to mention cluttering up your new space with clothes that are merely a decoration in your closet. This is the perfect time to purge your wardrobe. Socks that don’t have a mate, accessories that are out of date, and shoes you only bought for that special event don’t need to make the move with you.
- Junk: You probably have junk drawers or boxes of things that are random pieces, broken items, and things you forgot you had. Be ruthless in tossing these things out. If you haven’t found the missing piece or repaired that item since 2012, you aren’t going to do it after you move. If you forgot you even owned it, or you haven’t used it in years, you either need to donate it or chuck it.
- Books are heavy. Pack them in small boxes. Crazy as it sounds, go to a liquor store and ask for boxes they are going to recylce. They are the perfect size for books. You might look like a lush, but your back with thank you. Make the same hard choices with books. Do you need to own a copy of a book that you can pick up at the library any time you want to read it? Unless you love this one and re-read it or it holds some sentimental value, donate it to the library and borrow a copy when you want it. I love books and our house is full of them, but you don’t want to move a ton of books that you are never going to read.
- Mementoes are some of the hardest things to part with. Sometimes it is worth packing them up to look through later, but less is more. You are more likely to look through a photo album of your life than a photo album of a weekend in Vermont. Pick 3-5 pictures of a vacation, 2-3 of a special event, and make a single book. Store the rest digitally so you have them if you ever want to see them, but don’t carry around all the prints. And if you only have them in print form, try scanning them so you can store them digitally. Concert tickets and the like can often fit nicely in a photo album. If you are holding on to other items try to limit yourself to a single box. Photos of treasured toys and other items are easier to store than a toy you will likely never play with again.
- Style: Moving to a new place gives you the chance to go for a new style or look. It might be a good time to donate the dozens of stuffed animals or your figurine collection. Maybe you want to take pictures of your childhood posters and then throw them away. Replace them with a nice piece of art. If you can’t choose what to keep, you could get a large frame with easy slide clips on the back and place several posters all in the same frame. You can rotate them out or just feel happy knowing that you haven’t let go of those memories just yet. Consider new, more grown up bedding.
- Online Shopping: Order these things online and have them delivered to your new place on move. Amazon 2 day delivery ordered 2 days before your move means you don’t have to carry it. Win. Consider throwing into that order some pantry essentials, kitchen basics, toiletries, and that extra lamp or fan. We once had furniture repaired/reupholstered, and we had the company pick the furniture up at our old place and drop it off at the new one.
It is hard to let go of all the things we have collected over the years, over a lifetime. It’s hard to decide what we will keep and what we will let go of. It’s hard to grow up, and it’s hard to watch your kids grow up. I too am letting go, but I don’t get to decide what pieces I get to keep. I had my chance to head out on my own, pack up and leave my parents behind. As the parent, not it’s my turn. I have let go of control. It’s my job to wait and see what parts of her she lets me hold on to. Will she come home for Christmas? Will she call on my birthday or stop by on hers? Will she ever be home for a weekend or drop buy to run a load of laundry? We we ever all sit around the breakfast table again? I don’t know. I hope so.