Life: Not What I Imagined

My life is just the way I dreamed it would be when I was a little girl.

My life is nothing at all the way I imagined it.

How both of those things can honestly be true is simply one of the many wonders of the life I live. It is a testament to both the humor of God and his ability to be the sustainer of my soul.

When I was growing up, all I wanted was to get married and have children. I even wanted to adopt someday. I loved teenagers (little kids, not so much). I wanted to take family vacations, and eat dinner together, and take hikes in the woods. I didn’t really want a career. I wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I loved school and I pondered numerous career options that all involved helping people, some even in a school environment. I just wanted to love Jesus, and love my family. So, Considering that, I guess I did pretty good. I mean, I can check off that whole list.

On the flip side, nothing I imagined turned out the way I thought it would.

• I anticipated parenting to hard, but I wasn’t prepared for the crushing weight of worry.
• I was prepared for stomach viruses and skinned knees, but not mental health problems.
• I knew that my kids would sometimes hate me, but I wasn’t prepared for the heartbreak.
• I imagined a home overflowing with our kids friends, but I wasn’t prepared for the loneliness.
• I dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom not juggling the chaos of a woking mom.
• I had plans for a log cabin in the country not living in a development at the edge of a city.
• I envisioned of my parents watching their grandkids grow up; I wasn’t prepared for losing my dad before my wedding day.

  I could go on.

So what do you do when the reality of your dreams doesn’t match up with the fantasy of your dreams?

I think dreams come to us in different ways and at different times. Here are five different kinds of dreams I’ve discovered:

• Some dreams are just not the right dreams, and you don’t know yet. Sometimes, in His time, God will give you the dream you needed, not the one you wanted. My current job is a perfect example of God knowing me better than I knew myself. What dreams are you living that you never asked for?
• Sometimes you need to work for your dreams. Most dreams don’t fall in our laps like a fairy tales. They happen because we make choices to achieve them. That might mean hard work when you are already tired or courage to step out into the unknown. And sometimes we make a choice not to pursue dreams that are too much work, and that’s okay. We just need to see it as a choice. What dreams are hidden behind some hard work and bravery?
  
• Some dreams you don’t get. Period. I mean, how many people get everything they want. I never did get that unicorn I asked for when I was ten.  And how many of us get to be a part-time brain surgeon, part-time astronaut with a chart topping rock-n-roll career? Dreams are just that, dreams. Enjoy all the dreams you did get rather than focusing on what you didn’t get. For me, one of those things is an amazing marriage that few people will ever find. Which dreams did come true?
  
• You’re life isn’t over, so neither are your dreams. Different stages in life bring different dreams. Maybe travel is in the next stage in life. Maybe it’s a career change or a move. Maybe a quiet house or a fulfilling hobby is just around the corner. Some of my dreams, like my work in youth ministry, was a stage that has past, and some of my dreams have yet to come true, but I know they are waiting for me. What dreams could your future hold in the next stage and the stage after that?
  
• However, most of the time, we just need to find our dreams in the life we were dealt. Parenting was harder than I thought it would be, but I can choose to focus on the parts that brought great joy and work to be the best parent for the kids God saw fit to entrust to my care. I was given four great kids who made me want to pull my hair out, but they have blessed me and been a huge part of growing me into the person I am today. I wouldn’t want to go back and live my former dreams because I know that in the end I wouldn’t have become who I am today. Some dreams die in hindsight, and we need to let them stay dead so that new dreams birthed from your your current reality can bloom out of the ashes.  What dreams are nestled inside your broken dreams?

Dream big, but don’t forget to find your dreams in the life you already have.