I have been back to school for two weeks. The students haven’t even arrived. So far it has been inservice training, professional development/staff meetings, and preparing my classroom. We start an hour later than the actual school year, and I don’t need to stay late for after school activities.
And still, I am exhausted. By end of day on Friday, I was extremely cranky. I was one of the last people out the door (just after 5 pm). I came home, cooked dinner, did dishes, set the table, ate, cleaned up the kitchen, did more dishes and then kindly lectured my family on pitching in more, because, “We all eat here.” I know some of that was my exhaustion speaking. Some of that I say weekly.
Here are some tips for the family of teachers heading back to school this fall.
- Clear the calendar of activities and encourage early bedtimes (kids and teachers a like): It doesn’t matter if the teacher in your life has been waking up at a reasonable hour and spending his/her days actively engaged in productive tasks all summer (cleaning, serving, parenting, lesson planning, etc.), going back to work is different. For the past 2-3 months, they didn’t need to pre-plan what they would eat or when they would pee. They sat down for a reasonable amounts of time. They chewed their food. The first few weeks are a major physical and mental adjustment. August teacher is full of energy and doesn’t remember September teacher. You do. Set a reminder on your phone now for next August. Don’t buy concert tickets for the first week of September or plan dinner with friends on a Wednesday night the second week of school. Just say no.
- Speak softly and carry chocolate or wine: Emotional brain is activated when a roster of real human beings is handed to a teacher. Teachers overthink about the well-being of their students, including ways to help the student who is isolated or the one doing the bullying. They are figuring out seating charts and homework modifications and worrying about wether or not they will be able to meet the needs of their kids. For the next 9 months, these students become their kids. It’s a heavy emotional burden which they shut off for the summer months. They forgot about laying awake at night trouble shooting or wishing they’d handled an incident differently that morning. They forgot how heavy the load is.
- Take on Some Extra Chores: Tax accountants are overloaded in March and April, and boardwalk ice cream shops are crazy in July and August, Teachers are overwhelmed in September. Take on a few extra chores around the house that you might not normally do. Maybe you pick up the house during the day (I’m talking to you teenage children!), or you mow the lawn. Maybe you start dinner or run some extra carpool shifts. Maybe that means budgeting for some extra take-out and eating off paper plates for the first two week because the kids are also back in school, and everyone is a bit on edge.
- Listen and/or be comfortable in the silence: There is a lot of newness for teachers in September, and they are probably going to want to talk about it. Ask about their day. Ask about their students. Listen as they ramble about the staff meeting or that issue on the playground. September doesn’t last forever. Maybe the teacher in your life has used up all their words for the day and their ears have already heard too many words. Let them sit in peaceful silence. Maybe they will want to unload their brain and then sit in silence. Be patient. This too will pass. And if you have kids heading back, be the one to ask your kids the same questions. The teacher in your life might be a bit self-focused and has temporarily forgotten about that work life balance.
- Fill out the forms: If you have school age children, they will be coming home that first week with forms. Maybe it’s a handbook that needs to be read and signed off on. Do these things. The teacher in your family probably has a pretty good idea of what’s in those forms and handbooks because they’ve just sat through the meetings. You would benefit more than they would from this. They were already over all this before the first form lands on your kitchen table. It’s a minor inconvenience for you; it’s the final straw for them. Just fill them out. If you have questions as to why the school requires your child to wear green socks on the first Tuesday of every month you can do one of two things: save that question for October or assume there is a reason and remain silent forever. The teacher in your life has already sat through 3 hours of meetings on this topic and fielded similar questions from 87% of the parents they have this year. They have toed-the-line even if they didn’t agree with the decision. They can’t have this conversation again. THEY CAN’T.
This won’t eliminate all the stress of September, but I hope it helps.
Happy September to my teacher friends! God bless to their families!
