Lazarus, Jesus’ good friend, has died. His sisters are mourning. A town is mourning. Jesus is mourning. And then the comments come.
But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” (John 11:37)
How can people feel so entitled? Just because Jesus healed some people, does that mean he is required to heal everyone? It almost makes me angry. Almost. Because Isn’t this us? I know it’s me.
I’ve heard people say that we don’t get big miracles because we don’t pray for big miracles. Yet, when my dad died, I prayed he’d be resurrected or that God would turn back time and bring him back. God could have, but He didn’t.
Maybe I stopped praying for big things then. Maybe it was gradual. I think I found it easier to not pray for the big things then to wonder why God didn’t give me the big things. The bigger the prayer that goes unanswered, the bigger the disappointment that an all powerful, all knowing God would chose to turn his back on my plea. If I didn’t ask and God didn’t provide, it was on me. I wouldn’t need to wrestle with the nature of God.
I didn’t want to have to question why he didn’t heal the person I loved or didn’t fix some deep brokenness. I didn’t want to question God. Maybe you aren’t that great a God after all.
What makes me think that God owes me the same as everyone else? What makes me believe that my request must be honored simply because God is capable? Is this not the same entitlement mentality that drives me crazy in today’s society.
My husband and I have adequate funds to pretty much support our kids every need and much of their wants. However, forcing our kids to get jobs and begin paying for their own expenses gradually as the got older is in their best interest. They are learning valuable lessons that they don’t learn when they are just given everything without effort. Giving them too much actually hurts them. Certainly, God in his infinite wisdom knows what I need and how that need fits into the scheme of eternity. Also, he gets to pick and chose even it if doesn’t seem right and fair, because he is God.
Knowing truth doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t wrestle with discontentment, envy, and entitlement at times, but it helps. God is good. I can trust him both with my outrageous prayers, and I can trust him to heal any hurt that comes if he doesn’t answer me the way I want.
What big things are you praying for today?
