I have wanted to spend a few moments journaling my thoughts lately, but I just can’t seem to find the time. I sent my children off to school and did just as I proposed the night before. I reflected, I prayed, I did a little bedroom cleaning and some studying. This venture into the stay at home mom with kids in school was shorter lived than expected. On my way out the door to pick the kids up from school I received a call from the local school district I had been filling out paperwork upon paperwork for the last few months towards approval to sub. My paperwork was completed and “could I start tomorrow?” And so it began. I have worked every week day since. Then got the surprising call from the school that I was already lined up to sub in for a maternity leave at the end of this calander year that the teacher was delivering that day and when could I come in. Giving notice at the one school I started in the other the very next day. I sit here with a huge spelling and phonics book on my lap underneath the laptop that I am typing on. I have read most of the afternoon. In addition to this shift into working mom, I spent every evening studying for the Praxis test that I took this morning. The leisurly studying that I anticipated during those first few days of school that I was sure would not need substitutes, did not happen. Studying was pushed to the evening, as was grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, lunch packing (for 5) and homework help for 2 kids unaccustomed to school and one getting back in the swing. Weekends carried the burden of those tasks that could not be fit into the week. Sleeping hours changed for the early morning need to be out the door, but not getting to bed early enough when lesson plans had to be made and dinner dishes cleared and a need for at least a few minutes to vegitate. Now, sleep deprived and anxious about my ability to do this position I am wondering how it is that people are able to do this. What kind of life is so full of things that must be done that there is no time for the joy? I know this is a phase, I know I will get in a grove, I will learn what I need to know, I will find the balance, but it is hard to see the forest for the trees.
Tonight I am going to watch Thursday night’s Rugby World Cup match between the US and Russia. I am going to enjoy a hot cup of tea and my fuzzy socks. I am going to read a chapter to my kids from that book that we have been reading all summer long with little progress. I am going to enjoy the moment, the accomplishment of my test, the gifts that God has blessed me with. I am going to take advatage of the weekend and the rest of the Sabbath. Selah!
