My greatest fear is that I am not enough. Not good enough, not capable enough, not faithful enough, not enough for what I was made for. This fear taints every aspect of my life. Insecurity drives me to be funny, to be an over achiever, and to withdraw. I yearn to lay it down, to find my identity in Christ, to believe that God will equip me for that which He has called me, but some how I never can. I have had too many failures in those places I know I am called to feel that God will actually equip me when that next time comes. So I over compensate. I strive. When I find a place I feel like I’m enough (or nearly) I throw myself into it, sometimes without enough reserve. This is not a blog that ends with how God changed me and now I don’t have these issues, or one that seeks advice. It’s my heart on my journey. It’s just my place to share real things because I know I don’t struggle alone. I know that I am enough, I just don’t feel it, nor do I live like I believe it.
Barb, you still absolutely nailed it! I have to say is the major struggle in my life. I am a person who is motivated by my passion, and I like to think outside the box. My problem is my box is always moving! It is always good to remember that God is good, and that he is enough for me and that I am enough and him. Let’s just keep reminding ourselves of this! Love you dear!
Oh your words are so true for me too!