10 New Year's Resolutions for Mediocre -at- Best Mothers of Teens

 

 

1. Exercise daily– Health is important. You need to develop your stamina to make it through these days. Each day do a sit-up. Yes, no matter how daunting the day’s tasks might seem, you must sit up in your bed. Do a pull-up. Pulling up your pants and dressing for your day is not only healthy, but leads to less embarrassment. Occasionally you may feel like doing lunges (at your child’s throat), but you should not do this, as you will over exert yourself.

2. Eat healthy– healthy foods provide you with energy and help you feel better. Nothing does this better than chocolate. Caffeine gives you energy while magnesium is essential at different times in your cycle. Additionally, chocolate is made from several plants (cocoa beans and sugar) as well as milk, making it an excellent nutritional source with the bonus of antioxidants. Similar arguments can be made for wine.

3. Help your children develop strong sibling bonds– At least once a month you can help your children develop strong sibling bonds by leaving them on their own and getting the heck out of the house. Of course, the more you do this the stronger their bond, so feel free to do this weekly or daily if possible.

 

4. Don’t forget your girlfriends– you need them. They will be your lifeline to sanity so find them, make time for them, and open up to them. They will talk you down off the ledge when the time comes, and it will come. If you’re doing #3 successfully than this will fall into place. Laugh often. Consider this free therapy, as you will need to save your therapy budget for your children.

5. Learn something new– This could include new slang words off urbandictionary.com or how to lock your child out of their own iPhone. Learning new skills can keep your mind sharp for years to come. You need all the skills you can get for these years.

6. Read a book just for fun (not to learn anything)– Your children are constantly complaining that their lives are consumed with schoolwork and they never get to do anything they want to do. You understand the absurdity of this statement, as you haven’t had free time since the turn of the century. Reading this book will likely take you an entire year, but having it handy to pull out and read in front of your cranky teenager just might provide you with a touch of hope that maybe there are some perks in being an adult. After all you’ve been telling them for years that life gets better.

7. Plan a vacation– Pick someplace beautiful and inspiring. Maybe you’re a beach person. Try cranking up the heat, wearing a swimsuit, and drinking a margarita while you plan. Maybe, like me, you prefer the mountains. Don your favorite flannel shirt and boots while drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate. You aren’t going to actually take this trip, because be honest, you have college tuition bills coming up and Lord knows you want enough money in that account to assure they are living on-campus for those years. Plan the trip anyway, as having something to dream about can give you just the hope you need to survive yet another conversation about how you don’t actually know anything. Better make those accommodations 5 star, because you know tomorrow you’ll find out how you’ve ruined your child’s life and you better have a vision of a personal chef catering to your every whim.

8. Character development– growing as a person is very important. You have flaws, you know this because your teens remind you of them daily. Pick one of those areas to develop. Your kids complain that you yell too much. Nonsense, show them you can yell even more. They complain that you’re soooo embarrasing. Challenge accepted.

9. Organize your home– We all know that an organized home helps us feel relaxed, but the practicality of getting it that way is a whole other issue. Shut all the doors in the house. Closed doors mean less clutter that you can see. If you dim the lights and use candles the room you’re in will feel cleaner. And let’s be honest, you don’t have time to read anything that isn’t on computer screen, so lights don’t really matter. Candle light dinners mean you can’t see how dirty your kitchen table is. Win-win

10. Work on your marriage– Their are strength in numbers. Your survival depends on this. Also, one day your kids will move out and your spouse will be the only one you have left living in your home. PRAISE GOD!